She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
