I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
