Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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