He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
