no, he came in my armpit
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
