Got a toothbrush?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
