..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i will never coherently bang her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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