this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Need sex. Gaining weight.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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