i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So vagazzling was a success
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
