fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
