i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
