I CAN MOONWALK!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
