UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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