If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
