it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
