Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
