we have pet lesbian snakes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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