I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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