I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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