It's like God shit irony all over that family
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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