what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
