5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
