i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
