I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
