Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
