That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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