For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
