Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
