Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
