Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
