How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
