lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
