WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
