windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
