I'm really into asian looking animals
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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