Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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