If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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