i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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