how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
