Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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