I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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