he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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