I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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