I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
