i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
