Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
