he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
