Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
