pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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