i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
